Waiting

Waiting is probably the thing I am absolutely the worst at doing.  To say it's a weakness of mine is an understatement.  But the funny thing that I keep realizing after something I've been waiting for comes to fruition, is that in retrospect I wouldn't change the length of time I waited or anything about the experience for that matter either.  When God has given me what I've waited for, meaning it truly came from Him and I didn't just go and get it for myself; I haven't wish it would have come sooner.

Case in point, my husband and I dated and were engaged for a total of 2 1/2 years before our wedding day came.  In the midst of that time I agonized about when we would finally be married.  "When will that day come Lord?" I asked over and over and over.  I prayed, and waited, waited and prayed.  I became impatient at times.  My future husband did a much better job at waiting than I did.  He was not in a rush.  He took the time to enjoy the experience for what it was, knowing well that we would never have that experience again.  When our wedding day finally arrived I was beside myself with joy.  But similarly I remember feeling like it had come in God's perfect time and I wouldn't have wanted it to happen any sooner.  7 1/2 years later I look back so fondly on the time we had before we were married that I almost forget how much I wanted to wish it away when I was in it.

I think in general we have a tendency to rush our way through things.  We look towards the future, towards things and experiences that we do not yet have, instead of focusing on what is happening right now.  And we get awfully impatient when we think God is not moving fast enough.  An example of this that I just read in Exodus (Yes I'm still making my way through that book) was when the Israelites were waiting for Moses to come back from speaking with God on the mountain.  Moses was actually up on a mountain hearing directly from God Himself and the Israelites got cranky and tired of waiting for him get back!  So in their impatience they coaxed Aaron into making them a false god out of their golden jewelry.  And the Israelite people, who had literally seen God part the sea for them, began worshipping this golden calf idol.  Is that unbelievable or what?  They ended up paying heavily for this when God got wind of it and He struck them with plagues as a punishment for doing what they had done.  Many of them were killed as well as a result of their foolish behavior.  All this because they wouldn't wait.

We are not so unlike the Israelites.  I certainly see myself in them.  We get impatient and we take things into our own hands.  We think we see what we should be doing and we go get what's ours.  But there will be a penalty paid for this kind of behavior.  When we rush to do our own thing we cannot see what lies ahead the same way that God can. In fact we can't see what's ahead at all!  And He will let us make our own choices.  He will also let us reap what we sow.  We also miss out on something far more precious.  We lose out on all the blessings that come from Him while we are waiting.  I've never drawn closer to Him than when I was uncertain about how something would come to pass.  I hope as I grow in Him, I will also learn how to rejoice and find rest in the waiting times.  It's a good place to be.