As my family waits for God to do a number of things, I’ve
been able to find a lot of peace in the waiting time. I’ve received instruction and encouragement from Him and
been able to let go of my urge to plan and see how the future will play
out. I’ve literally been amazed at
the work He’s been doing and riding high on what He’s accomplished in my life
and in my heart…until the other day when we had a wrench thrown in to our life
that made me crumble into a little helpless heap of faithlessness.
Honestly it wasn’t like an end of the world occurrence, but
with all of the uncertainty we have about future plans and projects, this was
something I thought was in the works, ironed out, not even a second thought
kind of thing. Our oldest, J.,
attends a school outside of our school zone and M. our second is set to begin
pre-K in the fall. I have always
assumed without much thought that M. would get into this school because
policies have been in place that give preference to kids whose siblings are in
attendance. Then a few days ago as
I got ready to submit our application for M I read that the rules for this had
just changed. No more preference
for M., which meant because we were out of the school zone, no shot in the
natural for him to get in. Last
year 300 families applied for 18 spots and those spots are given first to
children living in the school zone.
So suddenly, the plan I had in place all along was no longer for
sure. In fact it had now become
highly unlikely. What to do with
M.? And this doesn’t only affect
us this year, but the following year as well as we’d have to reapply for
Kindergarten and then again when T. is of school age.
I didn’t take this news well. In fact I completely freaked out. I started planning and strategizing and
telling R. that nothing seemed like a good plan or idea. I cried. I told him I wish we could just pick up and move. And do you know what he asked me? He asked me where the women had gone
who was standing firm and believing that God as going to work things out? He wanted
to know where that chick had disappeared to and been replaced by the quivering
mess that was me sitting in front of him.
He left me alone to have some face time with the Lord and the story that
He brought me to in a bit of a round about way was to that of Elijah. So here it is:
Elijah was a prophet of God who God used in many very mighty
ways. The greatest that come to
mind are when God told Elijah to let this really awful King named Ahab know
that there was going to be a drought sent on the land because Ahab had turned
his people towards false gods.
Then God did the most amazing thing for Elijah. He sent him to an area that had a brook
to drink from and sent ravens to feed him each day. How’s that for God’s provision and faithfulness?
Some time later (like over 3 years of drought later), God
told Elijah to present himself to King Ahab. So Elijah went before him and “When he saw Elijah, he said
to him, "Is that you, you troubler of Israel?" (1Kings 18:17NIV) and
Elijah said, ’I have not made trouble for Israel,’ Elijah replied. ‘But you and
your father's family have. You have abandoned the Lord's commands and have
followed the Baals.19 Now summon the people from all over Israel to
meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal
and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel's table.’”
(1Kings18:19-20NIV). At this
point all of the people are following these false prophets and Elijah is the
only one left who is a prophet of God. “ Elijah went before the people and
said, ‘How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow
him; but if Baal is God, follow him.’
But the people said nothing.”
(1Kings18:21). So they go up
to the mountain top and this is what happened:
23Then Elijah said
to them, "I am the only one of the Lord's prophets left, but Baal has four
hundred and fifty prophets.23 Get two bulls for us. Let Baal's
prophets choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it
on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on
the wood but not set fire to it.
24 Then you call on the name of your god, and I
will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by fire—he is God."
Then
all the people said, "What you say is good."
25 Elijah said to the prophets of Baal,
"Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of
you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire."
26 So they took the bull given them and prepared
it.
Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. "Baal,
answer us!" they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And
they danced around the altar they had made.
27 At noon Elijah began to taunt them.
"Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep
in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be
awakened."28 So they shouted louder and slashed themselves
with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed.29 Midday
passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the
evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid
attention.
30 Then Elijah said to all the people,
"Come here to me." They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the
Lord, which had been torn down.31 Elijah took twelve stones, one
for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the Lord had
come, saying, "Your name shall be Israel."32 With the
stones he built an altar in the name of the Lord, and he dug a trench around it
large enough to hold two seahst of seed.33 He arranged the wood,
cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them,
"Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood."
34 "Do it again," he said, and they
did it again.
"Do it a third time," he ordered, and they did it the
third time.35 The water ran down around the altar and even filled
the trench.
36 At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah
stepped forward and prayed: "Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel,
let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and
have done all these things at your command.37 Answer me, Lord,
answer me, so these people will know that you, Lord, are God, and that you are
turning their hearts back again."
38 Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up
the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water
in the trench.
39 When all the people saw this, they fell
prostrate and cried, "The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!"
1Kings18:23-39 (NIV)
Wow! Just
amazing! Elijah watched and
experienced God do all that! You
would assume that he would have been riding so high off this experience that
nothing could come before him and actually challenge his faith in God. But amazingly as you read on, Ahab goes
back and tells his wife Jezebel what happened and she says this:
"May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if
by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them."
(1Kings19:2NIV)
Elijah should have laughed at this statement. I mean really? God had just ignited wet rocks right
before his eyes. He had proven
Himself to all of the people. He
had shown Elijah that He would provide for him, that He was with him. Surely this crazy women couldn’t lay a
finger on him. But Elijah reacted
the same way I did.
“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to
Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there,4 while he himself
went a day's journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down
under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take
my life; I am no better than my ancestors.’” (1Kings 19:3-4)
Despite all that he had seen God do, he didn’t have the
faith to believe He would help Him in this situation too. And that was me the other day. I know my little quibble was not as big
as what Elijah was dealing with.
But for me it was something and God knew that. I read somewhere that when we experience God’s faithfulness
or a victory from Him it is almost always followed by a defeat or a low of some
kind. Why is that? Why can’t we just stand strong in the
Lord?
I believe it’s to keep us at His feet. We are prideful people. We easily lose sight of our Creator as
He is at work in our lives. If we
always walk in His victory, never experiencing the doubts and discouragements,
we might begin to think that we are the reason for all this goodness. So there is a purpose to the rollercoaster. We must keep coming back to the
Master. We need His constant
reminders of faithfulness.
The school situation is now added to the list of things we
are waiting to see God work out.
Going before Him that night achieved it’s purpose. He brought me back to the patient
waiting spot; away from the anxious thumb twiddling about the future. He reminded me again, oh so
patiently, that He has my life and that of my family in the palm of His hand. And as I read this morning in the
psalms, I am reminded again,
“Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.”
Psalm 27:14 NIV
