Looking Back on 2012!

I’m reflecting on another year.  It’s been a really good year.  In actuality there haven’t been any huge events in my life this year.  I didn’t move, start a new job, get married, get pregnant, or have a baby.  For the most part in every past year since 2004 one of those things has happened. 

Instead, this year God has taught me whole lot about myself and a whole lot about Himself.  He’s been showing me how to be content in every situation and stage of life.  He’s taught me about putting the needs of others before myself.  He’s rearranged the way I think about so many things. 

I delight in Him.  My only prayer for myself in 2013 is that I would know Him even more.  That’s it!

Whom Shall I Fear?

I know today was a really hard day for school age parents.  After the shooting on Friday that has literally brought us to our knees, we sent our children back to school this morning.  My first-born is a first grader.  The sadness I feel thinking about the 20 families whose first graders will not be going back to school today or ever is very great.  I think about how much I had in common with these mothers up until Friday.  We have experienced the same milestones over the last 6-7 years around the same time.  And then Friday happened and I can only begin to imagine their grief as they have had to let go of  their first graders and all of hopes and dreams they had for them. 

For those of us left grappling with all of this over the weekend and thinking about Monday and our childrens' return to school, I want to share something on my heart:

There is a decision that I have made recently and continue to make.  It doesn’t in any way minimize or take away the sadness and grief from the tragedy that occurred.  That will remain, but it is the way in which I will continue to live my life and encourage my children to do the same.  I decided rather recently, that I would not live my life in fear.  I cannot stop bad things from happening to myself or to my children.   I am certain God has miraculously protected us from things in the past, but I have no promise that He will do so in the future.  He doesn’t promise that.  What He promises is that He will be with us no matter what.  He will go before us and He will glorify Himself in our lives if we allow Him.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:18 NIV

I read recently a book where the author was talking about how we are always praying for God’s physical protection instead of praying that he would be glorified wherever we go or in whatever we do.  He challenged his readers to think about how much God could do with us if instead of living in fear, we laid our lives down before Him and allowed Him to take us where He wanted us even if it wasn’t safe; even if it meant we would give up our lives for Him. 

That really convicted me and it helped me this morning as I pulled up to J’s school. Instead of promising him that the school was safe and that the bad thing that happened on Friday would never happen to him, I promised him something I know for sure is true.  After giving him a big hug I said,  “J. just remember today that God is with you.  He’ll always be by your side even when mommy isn’t and He loves you even more than I do.”  Then I stood and watched him go into school.  I looked around at other mothers who were sort of lingering, looking through the glass doors into the school lobby, almost unable to pull themselves away.   I pray if they feel a sense of fear they would surrender it to their Heavenly Father whose promises are true and who will never leave their children's' sides even when they themselves must do so.   

In the Face of Tragedy: Insensitivity

In light of the school shooting I am dedicating this blog post to get a few things off my chest.  First and foremost I think what needs to be happening more than anything else is a lot of praying.  We need to pray for comfort for the community, families effected, and lost people around the world who are struggling to make sense of all of this.  Before saying anything we really need to just pray and seek God.

I really feel the need to address a few things that have been said by both people in the media spot light, political figures, and just people discussing the event in social media.

Prayer in School:

The first I mentioned on Facebook this morning and just really want to go into more detail.  Governor Huckabee and others have been spouting off this idea that this tragedy happened because we have removed God from our schools. The shooting didn't happen because we've 'removed God from our schools'. I'm sick hearing political leaders say that. God is omnipresent.  He’s everywhere, not just in Christian homes and Christian schools.  He’s in places where overwhelmingly He is not welcome.  He’s in countries many Christians won’t even go to for fear that their own lives might be taken from them. 

In regards to the Sandy Hook School; God was there.  He was there with every child and teacher and administrator who had ushered him into their own hearts. They brought God into the school with them. His presence was there. As a former teacher, I personally used to pray and welcome His presence into my classroom. I used to pray over each chair before my students arrived that God would help them to learn. 

God did not permit this because we've taken prayer out of our schools. What about the Amish school shooting? Certainly that was a school that encouraged prayer. This happened because evil is present in this world. And you know what, God was with every person in that school building on Friday. I'm certain he was aching. But I believe He surrounded those who lost their lives with His presence as they readied to meet Him face to face.

Homeschooling:

Many times this week I’ve heard people, even some in my own church openly state that they are so grateful that God has called them to homeschool their children, therefore protecting their kids from ever being shot at in a school setting.  I’ve heard people spout that while obviously not everyone is able to homeschool, those that are able really should as it’s the right thing to do.  I just want to say, “Don’t go there” when I hear comments like that. Homeschooling is not the calling of every Christian. I personally feel called to send my kids to public school. The verse about being the salt of the earth weighs on my heart. My oldest son shares Christ with his peers and my youngest son talks about church and God in his preschool and his teacher has decided to visit our church because she says he talks about how much he loves it so often that it must be a wonderful place. Likewise I have made friends with some amazing moms in my son's school and God has given me opportunities to love them and they love me back.  I was a teacher up until 2 years ago and I could easily homeschool my children but I don't because God has called me differently. We are each so different as is God's plan for our lives.  Similarly, just because you homeschool your children, doesn’t mean that you can protect them from all harm.  As parents we are obviously driven by maternal/paternal instincts to protect our children from danger.  But at the same time as with all things in our life, we should be praying God would get glory from every situation we face.  Not just, “Oh God keep me safe, and happy, and fell fed, and living in my own little happy Christian bubble with my family.”

Anyway, back to my original statement.  In light of all that has transpired, we really just need to pray.  We need to stop pointing fingers and trying to look for practical worldly answers for why this happened.  We need to pray that in the end God will be glorified by this tragedy as people turn their hearts over to Him.  And we need to do our part to make that happen, not just sit back and shake our heads and keep on living our lives.

I'm like Peter

I am a self-professed doubter.  I’ve discussed this previously.  Time and time again God shows up and answers me in so many ways, but when my back is up against the wall and even sometimes when it isn’t the doubts creep inside my head. 

Case in point (and yes I’ve also written about this before) every single time I get home late at night and start the arduous search for a parking spot.  On these dreaded occasions I begin my conversation with God,  “Oh Lord please show me favor in finding a spot.  We been hard at work for the kingdom and could really use a spot close to our building, etc…”  Now some of you might think it silly that I make such a deal out of praying for a parking spot, but if that’s the case, clearly you must not live in NYC and have 3 crying/whining/hungry children in your backseat.  During these moments the fear of searching for over an hour (yes this has occurred but usually to R. not me) literally paralyzes me.  I start out praying with such faith, but inevitably after a few laps around the block I begin to doubt that God will come through.  This is followed by a good dose of guilt, because really and truly God answering a prayer about a parking spot shouldn’t be the end all and be all.  At some point I tend to break down as I imagine my children starving and bawling for hours on end with no spot in sight, and just as I begin my cry fest, a spot appears for me!

Why oh why do I doubt God in the first place?  The bible is chalk full of verses telling me to have faith and not doubt.  In fact many verses suggest that if I doubt at all I won’t be able to do much.  Case in point, I could move a mountain, but not if I have doubt. 

Yet I can think of at least one example of someone in the bible who lacked faith and doubted God would help him in his time of need.  That guy was Peter and when Jesus walked on water he called Peter out on to the water with him.  And just like me, at first Peter stepped out in faith…but then he doubted Jesus and boom down he went into the water!  What gets to my heart though is what happened next.  Technically Jesus should have left Peter to flounder in the water.  After all he had failed the test of his trust.  But Jesus doesn’t do that.  Here’s the verse: “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him…” Matthew 14:31.  Jesus didn’t even make Peter wait.  He grabbed him right up and then asked him why he had doubted. 

I feel like God graciously does the same for me.  I don’t want to be a doubter, but sometimes I am.  Instead of punishing me for that, he doesn’t. In place of a slap on the wrist, He answers me.  Time and time again this happens and I have to believe with my heart that in the end of it all, my doubts will no longer have any place in me.

This is my song today and every day really:  Enjoy!

The End/The Beginning

So I have no idea if any of you who read this blog every struggle with my greatest struggle.  I’m going to share it because I’m sort of hoping I’m not alone.  I read a verse in the bible this morning that sort of got me thinking about it and I happen to also be reading the book of Ecclesiastes right now, which is super depressing if you struggle with what I do. 

Here it is:  At any given moment in my day I am usually in some form or another thinking about how short life is.  I think about it every time I look at my kids and see how big they’ve gotten.  I think about it when I see old pictures, especially wedding pictures or pictures of my kids as babies.  I walk around and go about my day, but always in my head I am thinking about how my life is like this little whiff of eternity.  It’s nothing.  I will blink and it will be over. 

When I think about that I feel sad even though I shouldn’t feel sad.  God has promised me an eternity with Him, so obviously I believe that I have so much more to live for once my earthly life is done.  But even that, I just can’t wrap my mind around the notion of forever.  Everything I know and understand begins and it ends.  I have no concept of what foreverness will be.  Even though it’s promised to be wonderful, I still have no idea what it will be like.  So because everything I experience is here and now, I get very nostalgic and sad when I think about how short life really is. 

The only time I am not bothered by this is when I am in the presence of God, seeking His face, or doing something for Him that I know He wants me to do.  That’s when I am free of my thoughts and I feel like heaven could happen for me right then and there and off I’d go. 

I wonder if anyone else thinks like me?  Do other people really ponder the fact that their life is so very, very short?  If not, do they brush it aside?  I mean how can you not live with the reality that your life will be over at some point and the point will come quicker than you can imagine?  But I reading this verse this morning got me thinking: “He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.” Ecclesiastes 5:20 NIV84.   I think that must be true.  So many people think so little about eternity, until they come face to face with it at the end.   But it’s not really God who keeps our mind occupied, it’s the stuff we busy ourselves with.  It’s keeping busy and keeping our mind off of what’s going to happen when all is said and done.

Apologies for this entry being a bit of a rambler.  Basically, instead of brushing my thoughts to the side and doing everything in my power to have the happiest life I can before it’s over, I’ve determined to do something else.  Because life is pretty much nothing in comparison to eternity, I’ve decided to live for that.  Everything has eternal significance.  When all is said and done, I want to have loved as much as I could, served as many as I could, given all that I have, for the only One who really matters.  Only because of Jesus can I live like that.  

Hush!...Secrets of the Worst Mom of the Year

Recently I was speaking to a newer friend and sharing with her some of my past struggles to come to terms with my role as a mother.  I told her I used to use motherhood as an excuse for why I couldn’t do more for God.  She smiled at me, laughed, and said, “Wow you are so real.  I have never heard anybody be so honest about themselves off the bat before.” 

Another similar story: I was at the school yard the other day in the afternoon and another newer friend who I up until that point I had only conversed with when we were both with a mutual friend, showed up with her two little boys.  She looked exhausted and was suffering from a cold.  After a few moments of sharing how her boys wouldn’t nap that day, how exhausted and newly pregnant she was, and how she had spent a good deal of the morning yelling at her kids; she broke down in tears.  Wanting to comfort her, but not knowing her all that well, I blurted out that I also often yell at my kids.  No I am not proud of that fact.  Yes I would probably prefer that nobody know that about me.  But at that moment she was really struggling and maybe, just maybe hearing that she wasn’t the worst mom in the universe was what she needed to hear.  After spilling my own guts, she looked up at me and said,  “No one ever admits to that. I feel like I’m the only one”. 

Why is that?  Why so often to we hide our faults, shortcomings, and weaknesses?  We should be sharing our struggles not hiding them.   It’s important for so many reasons.  No matter what is challenging us, our tempers, problems with our kids, our struggle to conceive children, our own guilt that we hide in the closet; what we really need to do is bring it out into the open.  Perfection is a nasty façade and it’s one that is eating women up.  By being truly real with those around us, we allow them to be real to.  When that happens we can support, love, and lift each other up. 

Sometimes when I see another mom who is hurting and struggling, my first instinct is to shout out, “Over here!  Look at me!  The worst mom of the year award should be mine!  I yell at my kids way more than I should.  I let them watch too much T.V.  They eat sugar, and sometimes drink chocolate milk!   I should probably read them more books and do more crafts with them.  They don’t do soccer, art class, or play a musical instrument!”  I would say all of that to them and more if it would make them feel better.  Because you know what?  We’re all imperfect.  The only reason I don’t hate myself for being the worst mom of the year is because I have a God who loves me despite all my flaws.  Oh He loves me so much!  Best of all He loves me just the way I am, but loves me too much to leave me that way.  So He’s working on me and each day I’ll be a little bit of a better mom.  I don’t have to bear the burden of guilt because He bears it for me. 

I really wish we would all just be honest about how things are really going.  It would be the first step towards things going much better.

First Snow!

I was struck this morning by the ability of children to be utterly amazed at the smallest things.  It’s only the beginning of November and we got snow last night.  Some areas got a lot of snow, but our NYC neighborhood only had maybe a slushy inch.  It really wasn’t much to get excited about.  But as we left our apartment this morning to head to school I watched my boys, elated to be wearing snow boots for the first time this season (which they insisted on wearing despite my protests), stomping, tromping, and jumping on every small patch of snow they could find.  They were gleeful, hollering to each other, “Look snow!  I’m jumping in it! Here’s more!”  On our way to school we pick up a friend’s two daughters ever day.  As I loaded the girls into the car they had the same look of awe on their faces.  “Look! Look at the snow on my mitten!” one of them shouted looking down at maybe four granules of snow.  As we drove to school they all made plans to build snowmen, make snowballs, go sledding.  I dared not burst their excitement bubble with reality.

As I made my way home after herding them into the school building, I thought to myself how pure their joy was.  Children find it in the simplest places and with the simplest things.  As adults we’ve really lost that ability. We’re so caught up in our daily responsibilities that we forget to take in the small miraculous things happening all around us.  Today I’m thankful to God for children, who remind me to take a minute to stop my hectic life, take a deep breath, and really enjoy something the way they do. 

He is in the Hurricane

My heart is as heavy as it is amazed.  Hearing the story of two little boys swept out of their mother’s arms in this storm is too devastating to even wrap my mind around.  At the very same time, I am in awe of how God protected all of the babies at NYU; little tiny things who were relying on respirators to breathe and yet not a single one lost their life while being evacuated.  I think it’s impossible to fully comprehend why God chose to protect some and let others go.  I don’t think we’re supposed to.  It seems so unfair right?

But what if God protected us from every disaster?   What if not one life was ever taken tragically?  What if there were never tragedies in the first place?  What would happen?  The bible actually answers this:

For I envied the arrogant


when I saw the prosperity of the wicked

They have no struggles;


their bodies are healthy and strong.

They are free from the burdens common to man;
    

they are not plagued by human ills.

Therefore pride is their necklace;
    

they clothe themselves with violence.

From their callous hearts comes iniquity;
   

 the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

They scoff, and speak with malice;
   

 in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
  

  and their tongues take possession of the earth.

Therefore their people turn to them
 

   and drink up waters in abundance. 

They say, “How can God know?
   

Does the Most High have knowledge?”  Psalm 73:4-11 NIV84

If our lives were entirely free from pain and suffering, we would turn our backs on the God who created us.  His primary concern is not for our personal earthly happiness and security.  It’s for our heart to be turned to Him.  When bad things happen we look to God for comfort, for reassurance, and for hope.  He gladly provides it.   We also look to each other for support.  Suddenly neighbors are reaching out to help each other.  People are putting others before themselves.  We toss our own selfishness to the side for a moment and really care for people.   It would be nice if it did, but it just doesn’t happen when all is well in the world. 

So while I don’t understand why some were spared and others were not, I don’t have to.  I can trust in God who knows all things.  I can pray He would comfort the ones who are hurting and draw them into His arms.  I can thank Him for miraculously saving others.  I’ll close by including some of the lyrics from a song I listened to today by Big Daddy Weave, “The Hurt and the Healer”:

Why?

The question that is never far away

But healing doesn't come from the explained

Jesus please don't let this go in vain

You're all I have, all that remains

So here I am

What's left of me

Where Glory meets my suffering

CHORUS

I'm alive

Even though a part of me has died

You take my heart and breathe it back to life

I fall into Your arms open wide

When the hurt and the Healer collide

Protection

Not my companion but this is pretty much
what they all looked like

Sometimes I ponder the ways God has protected me from danger that I am completely unaware of.  Truly we have no idea how He has altered our paths time and time again to keep something horrible from happening to us.  It could be many times in a single day.  I hope someday when I finally meet God face to face, He’ll show me a picture of how He protected me over the course of my lifetime.

Of course occasionally we find ourselves in direct situations where we experience God’s protection in our lives in a way that we can’t deny that His hand kept us from imminent danger.  This happened to me fourteen years ago when I went to live and study for a semester in Costa Rica.

It was my second day in the country and our group of American exchange students met up for an orientation to our new city.  We each had been placed to live for the semester with local families and because we didn’t yet know our way around or how to use public transportation we were supposed to be dropped off and picked up directly by our host family. 

As we were toured around the city I noticed something quite distasteful.  The city was chalk full of scary, mangy, feral dogs.  They were everywhere.  Now while I love a cute cuddly puppy, I’ve never been a big dog lover.  These dogs were down right scary to look at and when I saw one I tried to get far, far away. 

By the end of the long day of introductions and loads of new information we gathered in the city plaza to await our rides back to our homes.  One by one my classmates were picked up.  Finally I found myself the lone exchange student waiting on my ride.  This was the era prior to the common use of cell phones so the program director had to use a pay phone to call my family.  He returned and reassured me they were on their way and would be there shortly.  He then left me there in the middle of the plaza to wait for them.  Looking back on that I really cannot believe he just left me there alone, a young 20 year old women in a foreign country with absolutely no way to contact him or anyone else should something happen.

I waited for a while and it began to get dark.  For any of you that have ever traveled to Central or South America, the cities all have these huge plazas and after dark these places can become home to all kinds of vagrants and unsavory types.  Sure enough as it got darker I began to notice some intoxicated men and other “sketchy” individuals walking nearby.  At that moment I had that panicky pit of my stomach feeling you feel when you are in danger.  What was I going to do if they approached me?  I frantically looked around me and noticed sitting nearby was one of those feral dogs I had seen roaming the streets.  “Great.” I thought.  “I’m going to be attacked by a drunk and a dog!.”  I wanted to run but I didn’t have anywhere to go.  Soon a few of the loitering men began to approach me speaking in slurred Spanish.  But just as they took two more steps in my direction the craziest thing happened.  The dog jumped up and lunged at them, biting one of them.   The startled men hurried away.

Over the course of the next half hour or so the dog barked wildly gnashing its teeth at anyone who walked even remotely near me.  If nobody was walking nearby the dog stood or sat close to my side.  I could hardly believe what I was seeing.  I had never seen this dog before in my life.  It didn’t know me, yet it sensed it needed to protect me.  Eventually, probably at least an hour after I had been left by the director in the plaza, my host family finally showed up to retrieve me.  As I drove off with them, I made eye contact with that stringy, dingy dog and silently whispered, “Thank you.”

I believe with all my heart God sent that dog to protect me.  Don’t believe it?  That’s okay, but I just cannot chalk that experience up to chance.  Sometimes I struggle with why God places His protection on some and not others.  I know He doesn’t promise I will always have His protection physically.  Spiritually yes, physically no.  Thankfully I know that His ways are not mine.  His reasons are not always understood.  I have to trust that because He is God.  I did not create Him.  He created me.  Maybe He protected me that day because He knew someday I would tell the story.  All I know is I am so very thankful for that little dog and for my God who sent him to me.

Tolerance

I’ve been thinking lately due to a number of reasons about what it means to be tolerant.  People around me talk often about looking for a place where people are tolerant and open minded.  They respect that ideal.  But what does tolerance really mean?

 Am I intolerant if what I believe to be true doesn’t match with yours?  Am I intolerant if I am not open minded, meaning I hold certain values to be right and not others?  What if my mind set doesn’t match yours?  If open mindedness walks hand in hand with tolerance, then only people who believe everything can be true are truly tolerant.  Personally I don’t really see how that’s even possible.  Everything cannot be true.  Everything cannot be right.  So if you can only tolerate those with your mindset, even if your mindset is open-mindedness, then you aren’t being tolerant either.  Tolerance does not mean an acceptance or support of a lifestyle or set of beliefs.

Here’s what I believe tolerance to be: Tolerance means I accept you as being a valuable human being even if I disagree with what you think is right or what you believe.  Tolerance means I believe you are worthy of love even if we disagree.  Tolerance means I hope we can be friends and share meaningful conversation even if our view points differ.  Tolerance walks hand in hand with love.

Rich Girl

I grew up with everything a kid could ever want.  Thanks to my parents I was fairly unaware of the fact that we were well off.  My parents denied me some of the things that my private school friends received like new cars, cash, and fancy ski trips. However, I never lacked for anything, and quite frankly looking back I got to do a lot, went to a lot of interesting places around the world, and lived a pretty cushy life.  I may not have been part of the top 1 %, but I had to have been living in a family that was at least in the top 10%.  Compared to the rest of world we were way up there.

The front door of my childhood home

I went to an excellent private school, a top college, and an Ivy League school for graduate studies.  Couple that with the rest of my upbringing and I entered adulthood with a voice that spoke to my subconscious telling me that I should reach for the same in my own adult life.  Work hard.  Gain success.  Be financially stable (meaning with significant extra money beyond one’s expenses).  If you do all of that you’ll be happy.  If you have a comfortable life with lots of cushion to fall back on, you’ll be safe from worry. 

Except here’s the little problem with that:  #1 Life isn’t supposed to be about having a comfortable stable existence and being happy.  It’s supposed to be about doing God’s will no matter what that is.  #2 Having too many fall back plans means you’re not trusting God to take care of you; you’re trusting yourself.

So here I am.  I have no permanent form of employment that utilizes the skills I learned in all those years of schooling.  Because of that we don’t have extra money to sock away for a rainy day or to fall back on in case the bottom falls out.  I had to break it to my Dad, that I will probably never become a school principal or superintendant like he hoped I might (Sorry Dad you know I love you! ; ) My life looks nothing like the way I grew up and it’s probably never going to. 

But you know what?  I’m home with my kids and I’ve never been happier.  I have time to serve God with all my heart.  I have time to build lasting relationships with other mothers in my community and my children are right along side of me while I do that.   I have a wonderful husband who loves me despite all of my faults, is patient, longsuffering, and kind. I’ve been learning to trust God to supply our needs and even seen Him supply extras that we don’t need.  I’ve been learning that happiness doesn’t come from having it all.  It comes from loving people and being reminded that I have a Savior who loves me in the biggest way possible. 

I had a really great childhood.  I’m thankful for that.  It won’t be the same kind of childhood I give my own children, but I feel certain they will feel similarly grateful as I do about their own upbringing, just for different reasons.

When I struggle with feeling like I don’t have what I should (and I struggle with this very much even despite what I stated above), I turn to God’s word and it always encourages me.  Today I read this and I really feel like it spoke into my life:

“Do not be overawed when a man grows rich,
   

when the splendor of his house increases;

for he will take nothing with him when he dies,
   

 his splendor will not descend with him.

Though while he lived he counted himself blessed—
  
  and men praise you when you prosper—

he will join the generation of his fathers,
   
 who will never see the light of life.

A man who has riches without understanding
   
 is like the beasts that perish.” 

Psalm 49:16-20 NIV84

God please let me be free of making my life about myself.  It’s such a short one and I want to live it for you.  In the end no tangible thing I build for myself here will go with me, so let my life be about how much I can love, encourage, and lift up others.  In the end, it’s your kingdom (and not riches) that’s the only thing worth building up.

For Laughs Volume 2

Well it's hard to believe I last did this in January!  Time to compile all the funny sayings I posted on Facebook that my kiddos uttered in the last 9 months.  Enjoy a good chuckle!

1/21/12

RE: the catch made popular on John and Kate plus Eight: M: J, You get what you want and you don't get upset! J: No, it's, You get what you GET and you don't get upset! M: That's what I said!

1/23/12

Went to Walgreens to pick up some stuff and I let M. choose a gift for his friend's birthday this weekend. While I inspected the arts and crafts he was further down the aisle with a basket. He strutted over to me with his basket filled with "presents". What was inside? 2 containers of tacks, 2 flashlights, and a packet of stickers. Needless to say we had to make some other choices (besides the stickers of course!) : ) Love that boy!

1/31/12

On our way to school today we were discussing what we would name our dog if we had one, and M. said, "I'm gonna name my dog 'Fluffy the Cat'. "

3/6/12

M. wants to wear a barrette in his hair so badly, he fashioned one out of a paper clip and is walking around with it in his hair!

3/9/12

Intending to deny his own responsibility for ripping pages out of a library book, mistakenly M. denied that he was M.

3/10/12

M. to T. while jamming to his own tune this morning: "Come on girl! Sing it!"

3/30/12

M: Mom can I have seaweeds for breakfast?

I mean how can I say no to that?

 4/10/12

Oh the independence of a 3rd child! Much to my amazement T. managed to get a hold of a container of apple sauce, a knife from the dishwasher, cut open the apple sauce herself, and I found her feeding herself on the kitchen floor! 12 months old! (and yes I did take the knife away from her when I discovered this : )

4/16/12

M. just used the word "gorgeous" to describe a cookie I gave him. LOL!

4/20/12

M. with scissors in hand: "Daddy, the carpet needs a haircut!"

4/29/12

Night 2 of M. sleeping under a laundry basket...At least he goes to bed without complaining!

5/3/12

I love how M. thinks that whispering just as loud as he was talking is considered being quiet.

5/20/12

M. is dancing around the house singing a song he has clearly composed himself: "Jumping up and down! jumping up and down! Obama! Obama!"

5/27/12

Me: "M. be careful!"

M: "I'm carefuling!"

6/3/12

I hear fighting coming from the back of our apartment. I go back there and what are the boys fighting over? A bag of carrots! Surreal!

6/13/12

I hear a shriek and J. crying that M. punched him. Before I can even summon M. I hear him yell, "It's okay I'm in time out!"

6/14/12

Boys in the bathtub discussing their weekend plans:

J: I want to go to the Queens zoo. What do you think they have there?

M: I want to go there! I think they'll have queens, and dragons, and princesses!

6/20/12

M: Mommy I want to go to "Toys are Mine"

J: No M. it's "Toys r Us"

6/24/12

J: Mommy, how fast does a cheetah run if it has rocket boosters attached to it?

Me: quizzical stare

6/28/12

Checked in on the boys in their shower:

J: Mom I'm doing a good job washing my hair!

M: Yeah and I'm peen' in the shower!

6/29/12

J: I lost Daddy's soccer ball! He's going to kill me!

M: Really? With what?

7/18/12

So this morning in the shower I accidentally shampooed my face. In addition to that today while M. was making pizza with two of his friends who came over, I caught him drinking tomato sauce out of the jar with a straw. We're clearly related!

9/19/12

Watch Yo Gabba Gabba while mommy showers or sneak into the bathroom to eat toothpaste? Hmmmm which to choose....?

Priorities

Today on the radio I heard the DJ talking about how life can get so busy.  He started listing things that commonly occupy our time saying, “…with everything going on with our family; like sports, tai kwon do, dance class, class projects, church, the dog needing this or that…”  I honestly can’t remember what he talked about after that, because I started pondering this idea of what we do with our time and how it’s so very centered on ourselves.  I also noted how he listed church near the end of his list and it made me think about how little relevance God really has in so many of our lives.  Like He is either an afterthought or someone who is an add-on to what we are already doing.

I read a book recently where the author posed a question: “If you knew that heaven was going to be a place free of pain and suffering, with all of the nicest things you can imagine, and all of your close friends and family present, but Jesus was not there, would that matter to you?”  I would actually guess that for many people it would not matter.  God, the one who created us, longs for us to want Him, trust Him, and look forward to the day where we will see Him, is an afterthought.  We think about Him on occasion or when we are in church, but our lives do not reflect that He really matters.

If our own children acted towards us the way we treat our relationship with God, our hearts would be crushed.  God is our creator and our Heavenly Father, so when we set Him aside I imagine He must feel the same way.  What if heaven isn’t going to be all about us and the good things we will have?  What if it’s going to be all about Him and finally being reunited with the One who loves us most of all?  Shouldn’t we be living our lives here on earth with that at the forefront of our minds and hearts?  And if we do, our priorities and how we spend our time will surely change.