Friday, December 30, 2011

He's Not the Jesus I Always Thought He Was

I spend a lot of time thinking about Jesus.  I also think a lot about what perception I had of Him before I really knew Him.  Why?  Because my perception was way off base.  Maybe if I write about it someone out there might change their own mind about Him the same way I did.

I think it's important to give a little bit of background on myself.  I did always grow up going to church.  I learned the "stories" in the bible but they were just stories to me and not much more.  Maybe they really happened, maybe not.  They were basically irrelevant to me.  I was a person practicing the culture of Christianity and nothing more.

Many of you who know me from a long time back might be wondering how I went from that to the Jesus follower I am today?  Did I get sucked into some sort of crazy church that indoctrinated me?  Did I meet someone who pulled me into this?  The answer is, no.  That is not how it happened.  What happened was quite simple.  I started asking big questions about life and death and happiness.  I thought about them a lot.  I worried about them. Then I started looking for answers.  I looked in a lot of places for those answers and one of the places I looked was in the bible.  What I found there when I looked for myself was a God who really loved me and wanted a relationship with me. I found a God who loved me so much He died a horrible death for me.  I began to feel guilty that I was doing so many things that made both myself and Him unhappy.  So I set about trying to fix those things.  I tried really hard to do good, be better, but I failed over and over again.  Until one day I gave up on myself and put God to the test.  I asked Him if He was real to come and help me and fix the mess I was making of myself.  

You know what happened?  He did.  A heavy weight lifted from inside my heart immediately and from that moment on I knew that He was more than just a far off notion.  He was real and He was right there, not in some far off ethereal realm.  This changed my whole perception of Him and the ideas I had grown up having about who God was.   

This is my message to anyone who is unsure or who is sure I don't know what I'm talking about:  He will be as close to us as we allow Him to be.  He made us after all and He made us to choose how much or how little of Him we want.  He is deeply personal, concerning Himself with even the smallest things in our lives.  Some might say He does not exist.   Do you really think that your thinking on that can actually make it so?  Some might say they don't need Him.  That's a little bit like a child thinking they can just take care of themselves.  Some of you might think I've gone off the deep end.  But you know me.  Do I seem like a nut?  Test what I'm saying for yourself.  Look for the truth and be open to the possibility that it just might come from Jesus.

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