He always knew I would choose Him

I've been reflecting a lot today on how I came to know the Lord.  Maybe it's because the Christmas season is upon us, maybe it's for some other reason, but I've been thinking a lot about before I knew Him.  Like, what was He thinking about when he would look at me?  I remember rejecting Him as a kid.  I told my parents I no longer wanted to attend church.  I wanted it to be my decision, and my decision was that I didn't like it.  "Everyone's too old.  I don't like the music.  It's boring."  My parents said I had to go.  "Fine!" I said "But I'm not singing!  I'm not going to participate in any way."  They said I still had to go.  I remember standing there in the pew looking defiantly at the people up at the altar.  I can't remember but maybe it was choir members standing there or the just the pastor.  I would look right at them with my lips sealed shut as each song was sung. It's funny because in my mind I addressed God even though the words in my head were, "See me here!  I don't even believe in you!"  What was He thinking when I did that?  I think it probably hurt Him to hear those words.  But then again He is all knowing.  So while it might have hurt, I can just imagine Him thinking "It's okay because some day you WILL know Me.   Someday you will choose Me."  That just brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.  He knows who will choose Him and who will want Him.  He knows who will reject Him and that must sting.  We have a choice we get to make.  And when we choose Him, we enter into the most amazing relationship we will ever have.  It allows me to live every day without any regret for all of the many mistakes I have made, including when I rejected Him.  Because He always knew I would choose Him in the end and that we would walk together both here on this earth and someday forever in Heaven.  It blows me away every time I think about it.