Just Like Hannah

The other day I felt an intense burden to pray for some friends and a situation that I know nothing about.  I am not privy to any details whatsoever but over the course of time God has brought them to my mind often to pray for them that He would bless them with a child.

 The longing for a child is not one I can relate to.  As I mentioned previously my first born was a surprise.  However, for whatever reason God has laid this couple on my heart over and over again.  I can't seem to shake it.  It's not that I desire to, but I feel fully  unequipped to relate to their circumstance.  Why me pray?  I have no answer to that, but I love and respect them greatly and feel it quite an honor to intercede on their behalf.  They may never know that I did, but God knowing is all that matters.

 And so it goes that I now weave them into my journey through the bible.  The very evening after I thought about and prayed for these friends all day, I opened up my bible app and turned to the book that comes after Ruth.  I really couldn't believe my eyes to be reading 1Samuel 1.  For anyone unfamiliar with this chapter and book of the bible, this is the story of a woman named Hannah who longed for a child, but whom God had made barren.  She struggled to deal with her condition and poured her heart out to Him. God heard her cry and blessed her with a son whom she named Samuel, and she dedicated him to the work of the Lord.

 I love this story.  I love it because it's a story of a situation which in the natural seems completely impossible, but by the power of God it becomes real.  I love it because I believe God does things like this all the time.  He withholds for what seems like an eternity and then in a moment He just does it.  No ability to grow life.  Then Life! when there seemed like no way.

 The very next morning God had me up again, well before the rest of my household had even stirred, crying out to Him that He would bring them this child.  It struck me in that moment as well, that all over His creation He has us crying out to Him on behalf of each other.  He links us one to the other in this way.  I believe it's to help us understand with greater magnitude, the love He has for each of us.  I consider it a privilege to forget my own concerns and focus on the concerns of someone else.  I don't doubt that when I have my back up against a wall or are in need, He will lay me upon the heart of someone else.

 For now Lord, my prayer is for them.  You are the creator of life.  It all begins with you.  Bring a life into theirs God.  They have long waited for it.  I believe with all my heart that they will be like Hannah and dedicate that life unto you God.  In Your Name I pray.  Amen.

Ruth and Tebow

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.”

Ruth 1:16

Never have one person’s words so changed the course of history for themselves.  This is one of my favorite verses in the bible about one of my favorite people in the bible: Ruth.   It’s not so much that I love the words in this verse as much as I love the faith this woman had and how her whole life changed the moment she spoke them.

You see Ruth was not born in Israel.  She was not one of God’s ‘chosen’ people.  She had not grown up hearing stories of His faithfulness or His goodness.  But clearly she had something planted in her heart that was for Him.  Maybe it was from being married to someone who was an Israelite or having a mother in law who knew of the Lord.  Maybe they told her stories of Him and something resonated in her. 

When Ruth’s husband dies she was urged by her mother in law Naomi to return to her own people in Moab, while Naomi journeyed back to Israel.   She tells her to go back to her “gods”.  Meaning, to go back to a people who worshipped something that was false, something that could do nothing for her.  Good thing Ruth doesn’t listen to Naomi.  And then she makes the statement quoted above.  More important than choosing to stick with Naomi, she chooses the Lord.  She chooses the one true God. 

From that moment on God’s faithfulness is poured out on her.  She returns with Naomi and ends up remarrying a wealthy man in Naomi’s family.  She is loved and blessed with children of her own.  But the most amazing thing about it is who Ruth becomes.  Maybe as a reward for choosing Him or maybe for some other reason, Ruth becomes the great grandmother of David and the great- great- great “multiplied by a big number” grandmother of Jesus Christ!  A foreigner is in His lineage.

 Why does God do that and what does that show us?  I think God seeks to show us here that it doesn’t matter where you come from and what your background might be.  God is able to use anyone, no matter who they are as long as they are willing to be used by Him.  I think He also weaved her into the lineage of Jesus to show us that our heritage does not define us or make us important.  What’s important is the state of our hearts.  We’re not special because we come from a prestigious background.  It doesn’t matter if we come from a whole line of people who have believed in God and followed Him.  What matters is what WE think of Him.  

I personally come from a family that is very tied to a quality and prestigious education.; the more elite, the better.  I’ve always valued the education I received, but truth be told I’ve also always thought it made me somebody sort of special.  I’ve used my degrees and the places from which I’ve received them to open many doors for myself.  What I’ve failed to realize until recently is that none of this really matters to God at all.  He proves it in how he uses Ruth.  All my educated smarts mean very little to Him.   What He cares about is far more important and that is a submission of my heart and my will to His.  He is far more intelligent and wise than I am.  In fact He has shown me that I am rather foolish. 


I actually just watched Tim Tebow's press conference as he joins the New York Jets.  As it concluded the reporters acknowledge what much of the public has been saying.  "Why a press conference for someone who is not even a starting quarterback?"  Essentially why the hype over this guy?  God is using him in mighty ways through football and it's not to win games.  He's chosen him and put him in a spotlight to represent Christ.  Why him?  Again, like Ruth, he is not the obvious choice.  He's not the best player.  But he is clearly willing.  He has a heart for God.  Because of that God has placed him in such a position.  Many say he's just a pawn for his team to bring them media attention.  Yes, he is in a way.    But not a pawn.  He a representative of his faith and God is giving him (through the media) many opportunities to share it.  

So I ask you now, what is the state of your own heart?  Are you for Him?  Do you want Him?  He certainly wants you.  And there is no telling what He might do with your life if you desire for it all to be His.

My little T. turns 1!

I’ve been waiting all week to write in this blog today.  Unfortunately I am “(feels like I’ve been hit with a Mack truck) sick so this entry I’ve been planning to write will be shorter than usual.

Today is a special today because one year ago T. was born.  I get very sappy about first birthdays.  I’m actually fairly sappy about every birthday, but the first is just so special. 

This morning I couldn’t even get out of bed with some sort of flu like ailment, but R. brought T. to me and I watched when the clock turned to 7:05 am, exactly one year since her birth.  Human life is quite amazing really.  I mean looking down at her and how much she has grown; it seems unbelievable that all of it could happen in one year.   I feel the same way about pregnancy.  In nine months tiny cells become a living, breathing, perfect baby.   

All of this leaves me in awe of the majesty that is God’s creation.   His work is perfect in every way.  I’m also struck by how quickly time passes.  I know I will blink and she will be two.  I’ll blink again and she will be grown.  Life is so precious and so quick.  I’m thankful today for every second I have of it.   

Gideon and I

So as many of you know I am making my way through the bible.  I’m currently in the book of Judges.  Judges introduces us to a man who is so much like me that we must definitely be related.  If not we are most certainly cut from the same fabric.  His name is Gideon.  I am a modern day version of him and here is why:

When Gideon appears in the bible the Israelites have yet again done evil things in the eyes of God and were being punished for it by being given over in battle to the Midianites.  The Midianites ransacked their crops and so terrorized them that they found hiding places in caves to protect themselves.   Finally, desperate for help the Israelites turn back to God and call out to Him for help.

So God sends an angel to this man Gideon and tells him, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”  (Judges 6:12 NIV)  Gideon objects, pointing out that they have been attacked repeatedly by the Midianites and abandoned by God.   But through this angel, God reassures him again, “Go in the strength you have an save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” (Judges 6:14 NIV).  God himself told Gideon not to worry!  He told him He had his back.   I mean not many people can say that God has spoken directly to them.  Most people would claim that if God spoke to THEM directly about a situation, they would surely believe that He was both real and faithful to carry out what He said.  But not this guy Gideon.  He continues to protest, “…how can I save Israel?  My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” (Judges 6:15 NIV)  What a doubter!  Did God not just tell Him not to worry?  God told Him that He would do it, but Gideon is looking at himself and his own ability.  He can’t imagine it even possible. 

Good thing I’m not God, because if I was at that point I would throw my hands up in the air and maybe try to fulfill my plan through someone else.  But ever patient and always understanding of our weaknesses, God persists with Gideon, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.” (Judges 6:16 NIV)  Gideon still doubts that he is hearing from God and begs God to wait for him to return with a burnt offering.  When he does, he lays out his offering of meat and unleavened bread and the angel touches it with his staff and fire flares out of a rock and consumes the offering.  Proof enough right?  He had to believe that God was in this now.  For some time it seems that he does.  He listens to what God asks him to do and tears down altar of one of the false gods they had been worshiping.  He builds an altar to God and in so doing angers the Midianites.   With his life clearly threatened you would hope that Gideon would remember the promise made to him from God.  You would think he had no cause to worry and no reason to believe that God wasn’t with him.

But Gideon the doubter still isn’t sure.  He’s afraid.  He forgets those promises and asks God for reassurance.  “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised- look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor.  If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” (Judges 6:36-37NIV)  And God did that for Gideon exactly as he had asked.  Unbelievably still unsure of himself he asks God for one more sign, “Don’t be angry with me.  Let me make just one more request.  Allow me one more test with the fleece.  This time make the fleece dry and the ground covered with dew.” (Judges 6:39NIV)  At that point if I were God I would have been angry.  I would have thought to myself “Really?  How many times have I shown you and you still don’t believe!”  Thankfully God is more merciful that I am, because He again does exactly what Gideon asks.  Finally Gideon believes!

So how am I like Gideon?  Well, quite plainly, I request the wet or dry fleece all the time.  If I am very honest with myself, with many prayers that I make to the Lord there is a little part of me that is looking to see if He is still real.  Even though He has reassured me over and over again, and has answered my prayers quite plainly in ways I cannot pass off as anything other than an act of His hand; I still go back to Him again and again, wondering if this time I’ll realize I was wrong about Him.  I know I’m not supposed to do this.  The bible says, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” (Luke 4:12NIV).  I always ask Him to forgive me for doubting Him.  I am thankful that He doesn’t leave me hanging because really He should. 

Why was He so patient with Gideon and likewise with me?  God is longsuffering.  He loves us so much He is willing to wait for us.  He is willing to prove Himself again and again.  If Gideon’s heart was anything like mine, he longed for God.  He longed to know Him.  He wasn’t testing Him to try and proved him WRONG.  He was testing him because He so desperately longed for God to be RIGHT.  Every time God answers a prayer in my heart my faith is strengthened.  He is stacking up mountains of His own personal evidence in my heart.  I’m hoping this means in the long run I will test Him less.  When I reach the end of this journey, my prayer is that I will know Him so well that there is nothing left for me to do here but go and meet Him face to face.

Unspoken Prayers: Part 2

I mentioned in my last entry that there have been two instances in my life (that I know of )where God intervened on my behalf; when I didn't even know Him enough to ask Him for help.  This second story relates to my entire immediate family.

Almost 12 years ago my father was diagnosed with cancer.  I was 22 years old and getting ready to move across the country to Arizona to begin my career as a teacher.  Finding out that he was not only sick, but very very sick rocked me to my core.  After surgery was performed to remove a tumor from his lung we were told his cancer was stage 4.  He was informed there was no treatment that would work on this form of cancer (melanoma) and that he should prepare himself and his family to die.  A death sentence.  Up to this point in my life I had dealt very little with death or hardship of any kind.  Finding out that my Dad was probably in his last year of life seemed completely surreal.

I remember meeting up with my sister at her college dormitory, throwing my arms around her, and we both just cried our eyes out.  We were without hope and the pain of that was so very great.

For anyone of you who know my mother personally, she is a fighter and as spitfire.  She's a tiny 5 feet tall, but she does not back down from a confrontation.  My father's cancer became her fight and she determined to stop at nothing in order to find a cure for him.  To make a long story short, they were able to enter my Dad into a treatment regimen that was somewhat of a trial.  There had been studies done on it up to that point, but the success rate was dismal.  I think of everyone treated 25% would see a reduction in the cancer's growth and of that 25%, maybe 2% had seen the tumor disappear altogether.  Not great odds.

In the interest of time, I will cut to the chase here.  Through no prayer at all on the part of myself or to my knowledge anyone else in my immediate family (I could be very wrong about this, but it wasn't evident to me) my Dad became that 2% of 25% and is alive and well to this day!

I'm amazed by this feat of God.  It still blows me away.  What amazes me as well is that God restored my father's health without me asking him to.  Maybe others were praying for him.  Maybe he prayed and asked God to heal him.  I don't know.  After reading this I'm sure he will tell me.  But the bottom line is that God does answer the prayer of our hearts sometimes even when we don't ask Him to.

I struggle with this often though because I see many faithful believers praying for sick family members and the answer they receive is not a healing touch.  I don't understand that so I have to leave that with God.  What I do know is that God showers His love on His people.  He is faithful even when we are not.  He allowed my father to live for reasons that only He knows.  And God knew that someday I would know Him and the fact that he saved my Dad would blow my socks off.

Unspoken Prayers: Part 1

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” (Romans 8:26 NIV)

Before I had any kind of personal relationship with God, I know for certain of two instances in my life when He intervened and answered prayers that my heart didn’t even know to pray. 

The first of these instances occurred when I was fourteen years old.  My family had moved to England for my father’s six-month sabbatical from the college where he worked.  He was planning on writing a book while he was there.  I had just finished my first half of my freshman year of high school.  Needless to say I was not all too excited to be uprooted and to be attending an all girls school in England.  We were sort of living in the middle of nowhere, far from cosmopolitan London and anything exciting. 

My sister and I were the first new students to arrive at the school in years.  At first I received a lot of attention.  I was new and from a different country.  But as with any new fad, the appeal of me wore off quickly.  I don’t know if any of you have ever attended an all Girls school before, and I never had or have since, so I have nothing else to compare the experience to.  However, this particular school had a sort of strange “tradition”.  Because there were no boys in the school and hence no boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, the girls paired up as “best friends”.  These relationships acted similarly to that of opposite sex relationships in that everyone knew who your best friend was and you could “break up” with each other.  In British terms this was called “falling out”.   

Arriving when I did in the middle of the year, each girl already had her “best friend” and I was the odd one out.  So after a few weeks of attention, I was literally abandoned.  Nobody would talk to me.  For a fourteen-year old girl, this was the kiss of death.  I was miserable and very lonely.  As the weeks wore on I became very, very depressed.  I also became a little delusional.  I began imagining that my parents were never going to bring us back to the States.  I started to picture my life going on like this forever.  I even had a semi nervous breakdown where my parents contemplated sending me back home to stay with my aunt until the six months were up.  We lived near a highway overpass and I would picture myself jumping off of it into the traffic below.   It was a very dark time for me.

But one day just before the Easter vacation, God intervened in my life.  He did it in the form of a girl named Helen.   On that day all the best friends were exchanging chocolate eggs.  British people have major sweet tooths and Easter eggs came in every chocolate candy brand imaginable.  They were all sizes as well.  The bigger egg your best friend gave you, the cooler you were I guess.  If you and your best friend were aligned with another pair of best friends you might purchase them a smaller egg.  The most popular girls got the most eggs.  It was ridiculous.  Of course I received no eggs.   No surprise there, but the pain of it was biting.  As I was getting ready to leave that day I went to my locker to gather my things.  I opened up the locker door and inside was one small chocolate egg with a note attached to it.  It said, “Let’s be friends.  From, Helen” 

“Maybe it was a joke?” I thought.  But it wasn’t.  When I got back from vacation Helen started hanging out with me.  She invited me over to her house.  Before long we were inseparable.  I wasn’t depressed anymore.  I stopped pondering my leap onto the highway.  I had a friend and that gave me hope. 

Her choice to befriend me was not without sacrifice.  She essentially abandoned her best friendship with the most popular girl in our class.  She chose the outcast and in so doing she became the outcast with me.  When my time in England came to a close I was beside myself with excitement to head home.  Helen on the other hand was devastated.  She wept when I left.  I didn’t blame her.  I knew what she was heading back to. 

Why did she do that for me?  To this day I have no idea why she chose to sacrifice so much in order to be my friend.  However, as I’ve grown in my relationship with God I believe without a doubt that He sent her into my life.  I didn’t ask Him to do that for me, because I didn’t know Him enough to ask.  But that’s the amazing thing about God.  He intervenes even before we have the knowledge of Him to seek out His help.  I mean think about this scripture, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners , Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 NIV)  He is there.  He has always been there.  Whether we acknowledge Him or not, He still is who He is.  Certainly we can all recall a time in our life where we faced an insurmountable obstacle or where we cheated death.  We can recall some miracle that has happened in our life.  That was God working.  That was God answering the prayer in our heart that our mind and voice could not or did not know how to pray.  That’s what makes Him so amazing.  He loves us all.  Not just those who have chosen Him, but those who will choose Him someday and even those who never will. 

I lost touch with Helen for many years.  But I never stopped thinking about her.  We found each other again about 2 years ago.  Our lives have paralleled each other a lot and she, her husband, and children will be visiting us over the summer.  I can’t wait to see her.  No matter how much time passes she will always be one of my truest friends.  

When We Mess Up

I’ve been really swamped lately, so in the interest of time I’m going to see if I can write what’s on my heart in only a few words.  We’ll see how this goes! 

The other day I did something I shouldn’t have.  It’s not really important what it was exactly, but let’s just say I knew the moment I did it, that it was wrong.  I immediately felt horrible and asked God to forgive me.  I knew He had, but what happened next and in the days to follow was Him disciplining me for my action through some consequences.  I essentially reaped what I sowed, and I deserved it.  The funny thing is that all the ordered events that happened after I did the wrong thing were just as clearly from God as they are when He is blessing me or giving me favor in a situation.

So that got me thinking.  How quickly do we acknowledge God when He does something we want versus when things don’t go our way?  It seems to me that our society as a whole is happy to point to God when something really great happens.  Super stars thank Him for their Grammy awards and Oscars.  We say it His work when we witness an unexplained medical miracle or hear an impossible story of survival.  But what about when we have a string of bad “luck”?  What about when our circumstances prove challenging?   Then it’s, “Why would God do this to me or let this happen?”  “How could God love me and not help in my situation?” 

Have we ever stopped to consider that He is as much at work when life is a challenge as when it’s going smoothly?  The challenge might not come from our own mistake.  It might not be due to wrongdoing on our part.  But it could.   Yet so many of us only want God if He’s going to do things our way, on our timeline, and on our command.

As a parent I certainly do not give my children everything they want and ask for.  I do not only involve myself in their lives to provide encouragement and support.  I also step in to discipline them when they are wrong.  I teach them that there are consequences for wrongful actions.  And I attempt to do this in love because I love them.  God is no different (except he doesn’t have to attempt to do things in love, He just does them).  As our heavenly Father He concerns Himself about teaching us life lessons.  This often includes correction.  If we are willing to keep our eyes peeled, we will notice Him in those moments. 

For me, Kate the doubter, always seeking proof of God’s existence; I noted that He was very much involved in my unsavory circumstances that followed my mistake.  He is always true to His word.  He is always there.  I know He forgave me for my mistake.  I know He desires for me to see Him at work even in the mess I’ve made.  And He is.

Falling off the Mountain

As my family waits for God to do a number of things, I’ve been able to find a lot of peace in the waiting time.  I’ve received instruction and encouragement from Him and been able to let go of my urge to plan and see how the future will play out.  I’ve literally been amazed at the work He’s been doing and riding high on what He’s accomplished in my life and in my heart…until the other day when we had a wrench thrown in to our life that made me crumble into a little helpless heap of faithlessness.

Honestly it wasn’t like an end of the world occurrence, but with all of the uncertainty we have about future plans and projects, this was something I thought was in the works, ironed out, not even a second thought kind of thing.  Our oldest, J., attends a school outside of our school zone and M. our second is set to begin pre-K in the fall.  I have always assumed without much thought that M. would get into this school because policies have been in place that give preference to kids whose siblings are in attendance.  Then a few days ago as I got ready to submit our application for M I read that the rules for this had just changed.  No more preference for M., which meant because we were out of the school zone, no shot in the natural for him to get in.  Last year 300 families applied for 18 spots and those spots are given first to children living in the school zone.  So suddenly, the plan I had in place all along was no longer for sure.  In fact it had now become highly unlikely.  What to do with M.?  And this doesn’t only affect us this year, but the following year as well as we’d have to reapply for Kindergarten and then again when T. is of school age.

I didn’t take this news well.   In fact I completely freaked out.  I started planning and strategizing and telling R. that nothing seemed like a good plan or idea.  I cried.  I told him I wish we could just pick up and move.  And do you know what he asked me?  He asked me where the women had gone who was standing firm and believing that God as going to work things out? He wanted to know where that chick had disappeared to and been replaced by the quivering mess that was me sitting in front of him.  He left me alone to have some face time with the Lord and the story that He brought me to in a bit of a round about way was to that of Elijah.  So here it is:

Elijah was a prophet of God who God used in many very mighty ways.  The greatest that come to mind are when God told Elijah to let this really awful King named Ahab know that there was going to be a drought sent on the land because Ahab had turned his people towards false gods.  Then God did the most amazing thing for Elijah.  He sent him to an area that had a brook to drink from and sent ravens to feed him each day.  How’s that for God’s provision and faithfulness? 

Some time later (like over 3 years of drought later), God told Elijah to present himself to King Ahab.  So Elijah went before him and “When he saw Elijah, he said to him, "Is that you, you troubler of Israel?" (1Kings 18:17NIV) and Elijah said, ’I have not made trouble for Israel,’ Elijah replied. ‘But you and your father's family have. You have abandoned the Lord's commands and have followed the Baals.19 Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel's table.’” (1Kings18:19-20NIV).   At this point all of the people are following these false prophets and Elijah is the only one left who is a prophet of God. “ Elijah went before the people and said, ‘How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.’
But the people said nothing.” (1Kings18:21).   So they go up to the mountain top and this is what happened:

23Then Elijah said to them, "I am the only one of the Lord's prophets left, but Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets.23 Get two bulls for us. Let Baal's prophets choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood but not set fire to it.

24 Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by fire—he is God."
Then all the people said, "What you say is good."

25 Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, "Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire."

26 So they took the bull given them and prepared it.
Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. "Baal, answer us!" they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.

27 At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened."28 So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed.29 Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.

30 Then Elijah said to all the people, "Come here to me." They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the Lord, which had been torn down.31 Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the Lord had come, saying, "Your name shall be Israel."32 With the stones he built an altar in the name of the Lord, and he dug a trench around it large enough to hold two seahst of seed.33 He arranged the wood, cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them, "Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood."

34 "Do it again," he said, and they did it again.
"Do it a third time," he ordered, and they did it the third time.35 The water ran down around the altar and even filled the trench.

36 At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: "Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command.37 Answer me, Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again."

38 Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.

39 When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!"

1Kings18:23-39 (NIV)

Wow!  Just amazing!  Elijah watched and experienced God do all that!  You would assume that he would have been riding so high off this experience that nothing could come before him and actually challenge his faith in God.  But amazingly as you read on, Ahab goes back and tells his wife Jezebel what happened and she says this:

"May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." (1Kings19:2NIV)

Elijah should have laughed at this statement.  I mean really?  God had just ignited wet rocks right before his eyes.  He had proven Himself to all of the people.  He had shown Elijah that He would provide for him, that He was with him.  Surely this crazy women couldn’t lay a finger on him.  But Elijah reacted the same way I did. 

“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there,4 while he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.’” (1Kings 19:3-4) 

Despite all that he had seen God do, he didn’t have the faith to believe He would help Him in this situation too.  And that was me the other day.  I know my little quibble was not as big as what Elijah was dealing with.  But for me it was something and God knew that.  I read somewhere that when we experience God’s faithfulness or a victory from Him it is almost always followed by a defeat or a low of some kind.  Why is that?  Why can’t we just stand strong in the Lord?

I believe it’s to keep us at His feet.  We are prideful people.  We easily lose sight of our Creator as He is at work in our lives.  If we always walk in His victory, never experiencing the doubts and discouragements, we might begin to think that we are the reason for all this goodness.   So there is a purpose to the rollercoaster.  We must keep coming back to the Master.  We need His constant reminders of faithfulness. 

The school situation is now added to the list of things we are waiting to see God work out.  Going before Him that night achieved it’s purpose.  He brought me back to the patient waiting spot; away from the anxious thumb twiddling about the future.   He reminded me again, oh so patiently, that He has my life and that of my family in the palm of His hand.   And as I read this morning in the psalms, I am reminded again,

“Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.”

Psalm 27:14 NIV