Unspoken Prayers: Part 1

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.” (Romans 8:26 NIV)

Before I had any kind of personal relationship with God, I know for certain of two instances in my life when He intervened and answered prayers that my heart didn’t even know to pray. 

The first of these instances occurred when I was fourteen years old.  My family had moved to England for my father’s six-month sabbatical from the college where he worked.  He was planning on writing a book while he was there.  I had just finished my first half of my freshman year of high school.  Needless to say I was not all too excited to be uprooted and to be attending an all girls school in England.  We were sort of living in the middle of nowhere, far from cosmopolitan London and anything exciting. 

My sister and I were the first new students to arrive at the school in years.  At first I received a lot of attention.  I was new and from a different country.  But as with any new fad, the appeal of me wore off quickly.  I don’t know if any of you have ever attended an all Girls school before, and I never had or have since, so I have nothing else to compare the experience to.  However, this particular school had a sort of strange “tradition”.  Because there were no boys in the school and hence no boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, the girls paired up as “best friends”.  These relationships acted similarly to that of opposite sex relationships in that everyone knew who your best friend was and you could “break up” with each other.  In British terms this was called “falling out”.   

Arriving when I did in the middle of the year, each girl already had her “best friend” and I was the odd one out.  So after a few weeks of attention, I was literally abandoned.  Nobody would talk to me.  For a fourteen-year old girl, this was the kiss of death.  I was miserable and very lonely.  As the weeks wore on I became very, very depressed.  I also became a little delusional.  I began imagining that my parents were never going to bring us back to the States.  I started to picture my life going on like this forever.  I even had a semi nervous breakdown where my parents contemplated sending me back home to stay with my aunt until the six months were up.  We lived near a highway overpass and I would picture myself jumping off of it into the traffic below.   It was a very dark time for me.

But one day just before the Easter vacation, God intervened in my life.  He did it in the form of a girl named Helen.   On that day all the best friends were exchanging chocolate eggs.  British people have major sweet tooths and Easter eggs came in every chocolate candy brand imaginable.  They were all sizes as well.  The bigger egg your best friend gave you, the cooler you were I guess.  If you and your best friend were aligned with another pair of best friends you might purchase them a smaller egg.  The most popular girls got the most eggs.  It was ridiculous.  Of course I received no eggs.   No surprise there, but the pain of it was biting.  As I was getting ready to leave that day I went to my locker to gather my things.  I opened up the locker door and inside was one small chocolate egg with a note attached to it.  It said, “Let’s be friends.  From, Helen” 

“Maybe it was a joke?” I thought.  But it wasn’t.  When I got back from vacation Helen started hanging out with me.  She invited me over to her house.  Before long we were inseparable.  I wasn’t depressed anymore.  I stopped pondering my leap onto the highway.  I had a friend and that gave me hope. 

Her choice to befriend me was not without sacrifice.  She essentially abandoned her best friendship with the most popular girl in our class.  She chose the outcast and in so doing she became the outcast with me.  When my time in England came to a close I was beside myself with excitement to head home.  Helen on the other hand was devastated.  She wept when I left.  I didn’t blame her.  I knew what she was heading back to. 

Why did she do that for me?  To this day I have no idea why she chose to sacrifice so much in order to be my friend.  However, as I’ve grown in my relationship with God I believe without a doubt that He sent her into my life.  I didn’t ask Him to do that for me, because I didn’t know Him enough to ask.  But that’s the amazing thing about God.  He intervenes even before we have the knowledge of Him to seek out His help.  I mean think about this scripture, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners , Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 NIV)  He is there.  He has always been there.  Whether we acknowledge Him or not, He still is who He is.  Certainly we can all recall a time in our life where we faced an insurmountable obstacle or where we cheated death.  We can recall some miracle that has happened in our life.  That was God working.  That was God answering the prayer in our heart that our mind and voice could not or did not know how to pray.  That’s what makes Him so amazing.  He loves us all.  Not just those who have chosen Him, but those who will choose Him someday and even those who never will. 

I lost touch with Helen for many years.  But I never stopped thinking about her.  We found each other again about 2 years ago.  Our lives have paralleled each other a lot and she, her husband, and children will be visiting us over the summer.  I can’t wait to see her.  No matter how much time passes she will always be one of my truest friends.