Monday, March 5, 2012

Falling off the Mountain


As my family waits for God to do a number of things, I’ve been able to find a lot of peace in the waiting time.  I’ve received instruction and encouragement from Him and been able to let go of my urge to plan and see how the future will play out.  I’ve literally been amazed at the work He’s been doing and riding high on what He’s accomplished in my life and in my heart…until the other day when we had a wrench thrown in to our life that made me crumble into a little helpless heap of faithlessness.

Honestly it wasn’t like an end of the world occurrence, but with all of the uncertainty we have about future plans and projects, this was something I thought was in the works, ironed out, not even a second thought kind of thing.  Our oldest, J., attends a school outside of our school zone and M. our second is set to begin pre-K in the fall.  I have always assumed without much thought that M. would get into this school because policies have been in place that give preference to kids whose siblings are in attendance.  Then a few days ago as I got ready to submit our application for M I read that the rules for this had just changed.  No more preference for M., which meant because we were out of the school zone, no shot in the natural for him to get in.  Last year 300 families applied for 18 spots and those spots are given first to children living in the school zone.  So suddenly, the plan I had in place all along was no longer for sure.  In fact it had now become highly unlikely.  What to do with M.?  And this doesn’t only affect us this year, but the following year as well as we’d have to reapply for Kindergarten and then again when T. is of school age.

I didn’t take this news well.   In fact I completely freaked out.  I started planning and strategizing and telling R. that nothing seemed like a good plan or idea.  I cried.  I told him I wish we could just pick up and move.  And do you know what he asked me?  He asked me where the women had gone who was standing firm and believing that God as going to work things out? He wanted to know where that chick had disappeared to and been replaced by the quivering mess that was me sitting in front of him.  He left me alone to have some face time with the Lord and the story that He brought me to in a bit of a round about way was to that of Elijah.  So here it is:

Elijah was a prophet of God who God used in many very mighty ways.  The greatest that come to mind are when God told Elijah to let this really awful King named Ahab know that there was going to be a drought sent on the land because Ahab had turned his people towards false gods.  Then God did the most amazing thing for Elijah.  He sent him to an area that had a brook to drink from and sent ravens to feed him each day.  How’s that for God’s provision and faithfulness? 

Some time later (like over 3 years of drought later), God told Elijah to present himself to King Ahab.  So Elijah went before him and “When he saw Elijah, he said to him, "Is that you, you troubler of Israel?" (1Kings 18:17NIV) and Elijah said, ’I have not made trouble for Israel,’ Elijah replied. ‘But you and your father's family have. You have abandoned the Lord's commands and have followed the Baals.19 Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel's table.’” (1Kings18:19-20NIV).   At this point all of the people are following these false prophets and Elijah is the only one left who is a prophet of God. “ Elijah went before the people and said, ‘How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.’
But the people said nothing.” (1Kings18:21).   So they go up to the mountain top and this is what happened:

23Then Elijah said to them, "I am the only one of the Lord's prophets left, but Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets.23 Get two bulls for us. Let Baal's prophets choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood but not set fire to it.
24 Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by fire—he is God."
Then all the people said, "What you say is good."
25 Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, "Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire."
26 So they took the bull given them and prepared it.
Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. "Baal, answer us!" they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.
27 At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened."28 So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed.29 Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.
30 Then Elijah said to all the people, "Come here to me." They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the Lord, which had been torn down.31 Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the Lord had come, saying, "Your name shall be Israel."32 With the stones he built an altar in the name of the Lord, and he dug a trench around it large enough to hold two seahst of seed.33 He arranged the wood, cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them, "Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood."
34 "Do it again," he said, and they did it again.
"Do it a third time," he ordered, and they did it the third time.35 The water ran down around the altar and even filled the trench.
36 At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: "Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command.37 Answer me, Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again."
38 Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.
39 When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!"
1Kings18:23-39 (NIV)

Wow!  Just amazing!  Elijah watched and experienced God do all that!  You would assume that he would have been riding so high off this experience that nothing could come before him and actually challenge his faith in God.  But amazingly as you read on, Ahab goes back and tells his wife Jezebel what happened and she says this:

"May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." (1Kings19:2NIV)

Elijah should have laughed at this statement.  I mean really?  God had just ignited wet rocks right before his eyes.  He had proven Himself to all of the people.  He had shown Elijah that He would provide for him, that He was with him.  Surely this crazy women couldn’t lay a finger on him.  But Elijah reacted the same way I did. 

“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there,4 while he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. ‘I have had enough, Lord,’ he said. ‘Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.’” (1Kings 19:3-4) 

Despite all that he had seen God do, he didn’t have the faith to believe He would help Him in this situation too.  And that was me the other day.  I know my little quibble was not as big as what Elijah was dealing with.  But for me it was something and God knew that.  I read somewhere that when we experience God’s faithfulness or a victory from Him it is almost always followed by a defeat or a low of some kind.  Why is that?  Why can’t we just stand strong in the Lord?

I believe it’s to keep us at His feet.  We are prideful people.  We easily lose sight of our Creator as He is at work in our lives.  If we always walk in His victory, never experiencing the doubts and discouragements, we might begin to think that we are the reason for all this goodness.   So there is a purpose to the rollercoaster.  We must keep coming back to the Master.  We need His constant reminders of faithfulness. 

The school situation is now added to the list of things we are waiting to see God work out.  Going before Him that night achieved it’s purpose.  He brought me back to the patient waiting spot; away from the anxious thumb twiddling about the future.   He reminded me again, oh so patiently, that He has my life and that of my family in the palm of His hand.   And as I read this morning in the psalms, I am reminded again,

“Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.”
Psalm 27:14 NIV 

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