Making Sense

I’m not sure if this has ever happened to any of you, but right now Ricardo and I have been praying about something that if it actually comes to fruition will make my entire life make sense up to this point.  I honestly don’t know if that’s even supposed to happen, but I’ve spent a lot of time wondering about certain skills and traits that I have, coupled with those of my husband, as well as a love for the world, and an ultimate love for Jesus and a burning desire to serve him more; and how that would all come together to make sense someday.  After years and years of this I believe with my heart that it may someday soon come to fruition.  It’s not like I don’t believe God has us where He wants us right now.  I feel at the moment we are where we need to be.  But there is just so much more on our hearts to do that we have hoped for a long time.

So with that said, and while I know I am being very vague, what does one do when one feels that have found a true purpose for their life that incorporates every talent and gift that God has given them?  Well…for me at least I am just praying about it, and believing that it’s from Him and that in time He’ll make it happen.  That’s what having faith is right?  Believing in something before you see the results, not after the fact.  There are stories of this all throughout the bible.   Abraham had to take his son up to an altar with the purpose to sacrifice his life even though it didn’t make sense, because he had faith that God would still fulfill the promise He had made to him.  Noah had to build the ark before the flood began.  Joshua marched around a wall for a week before the walls came crashing down.  There are many, many more stories like these all throughout the bible.  What did it feel like to stand firm and believe God to do something before the results were seen?  Did any of them ever doubt that God would come through? 

That’s where I am right now.  The desired outcome to our prayers seems so far fetched if not impossible.  Maybe that’s why it’s taken us so long to actually begin asking God to do it.  But if we don’t have the faith to believe that He can, then certainly God never will.  And then what if we’re wrong?  What if it never happens?  Does that mean my life no longer makes sense?  I don’t even have an answer to that right now.  My heart just won’t let me go there.  Maybe that’s the way the people of faith in the bible felt.   Eventually the outcome proved the faith they had.  I’m hoping the same will be true for us.