Pain

I think it's safe to say we have all suffered through some sort of pain in our lives.  We may have suffered physical pain or the pain of some sort of heartache or both.  I've written already about the pain of childbirth, but because that is the greatest pain I have endured to this point, I'm going to write about it again.  I've actually never dealt with any chronic long term pain issues and I realize that I may lack perspective when it comes to enduring this kind of pain.  An amazing perspective on this can be found in an awesome blog entry by a good friend of mine. http://stillonthewheel.blogspot.com/2012/01/healer.html

It is said that every mother who experiences a natural birth hits a wall of sorts when she believes and usually articulates in some way that she cannot go on.  This usually occurs right as she is nearing the end of her labor and if she presses on she will shortly be holding her baby in her arms.  As I've said, my youngest 2 children were both born without taking any kind of pain medication.  While I endured intense pain bringing both of them into the world, each experience was extremely different.

  When I went into labor with M. I woke up at 5 am with a contraction.  By 7:30 things got pretty intense and my mom took one look at me and said we better hurry to the hospital.  Thankfully my midwife lived in our neighborhood and we were able to pick her up and give her a ride to the hospital.  The drive was so wild.  I was having contractions every 2 minutes.  My midwife calmly reassured me that all was well, but I sure didn't feel that way.  At one point I even shouted at R. to run over the kids in the crosswalk because we needed to be at the hospital NOW!  Thankfully he didn't listen to me! ; )Very shortly after arriving at the hospital and checking in I remember reaching my " wall" moment.  I announced to R. that I absolutely could not go on with this.  He reassured me that in fact I was doing it.  In my head I remembered what I had read and prayed that I was almost finished.  God answered me and M. was born maybe no more than twenty minutes later.  What joy and relief!

 Two and a half years later as I waited to give birth to T. I worried endlessly that she would come even faster.  Start to finish my labor with M. Was only 5 1/2 hours.  This time I thought surely it would be 3 hours or less.  I made ten different contingency plans for getting to our birthing center in lightening speed.  My midwife reminded me that each birth was different and not to expect things to necessarily follow suit the way I thought they would.  I listened and nodded but in my head I admit I brushed her off.  When the night came and the labor started we made our way the birth center quickly and I fully expected T. would show up shortly thereafter.  Well I was very wrong!  Hours and hours of pain fully as intense as what I experienced with M. wracked my body.  Finally my "wall" moment occurred.  I begged my midwife and R. to just take me to the hospital for some pain relief.  I announced over and over that I couldn't do it.  Maybe last time, but not this time.  I prayed God would end the pain quickly and that T. would be born.  This time just as the last time God answered me, but in a way different than I was expecting.  Instead of ending my pain shortly thereafter, He gave me needed strength to endure it for five more hours.

 The lesson I have learned through these experiences is this:  When you are suffering through any situation and ask God to take away the pain you are experiencing, He will always answer.  He will do one of two things.  He will either relieve your pain and suffering swiftly or He will give you the strength to endure it longer. Most mothers will confirm an amazing thing that happens shortly after having a baby (assuming there was no out of the ordinary trauma). At first the memory of the pain endured is strong.  You can actually remember how bad it felt.  However, slowly as the days pass your memory of the pain and intensity wain.  Eventually while you can remember that it was hard, the memories that truly stick with you are the joyful ones of seeing your baby for the first time.   I believe that's due to the grace of God.  He says "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." (1 Peter 4:12, 13 NIV84)  I think this can be taken to mean when we suffer physical pain, persecution, or any difficult trial.

 Our greatest joy should come in knowing that someday when we see His face we will never have to experience pain ever again.  In the meantime we will experience seasons of suffering.  Thankfully our God is merciful and will come when we call on His name.