For Laughs Volume 1

I've been writing about some pretty heavy topics lately.  Today I thought I'd keep things light.  In response to my friend's Facebook page being hacked and subsequently wiped out, I began to think about how upset I would be if I lost all the funny posts I have made about my kids.  So I decided to compile them and post them here for safe keeping.  A little background on my kids in case you don't know me personally.  J. is my oldest and will be turning 6 years old tomorrow!  M. is my middle zany child and he is 3.  T. is the baby and she is 9 1/2 months.  Here they are:

1/9/12

At breakfast this morning, J.: Look M., T. is clapping! M: Yep...just like a walrus in the ocean.... He then proceeded to sing a self made song about vacuums... ?

1/8/12

So I thought M. had figured out how to use the Netflix instant view on our Blu Ray player because he is able to get shows on for himself. However I watched him do it just now and he just puts his fingers on all the buttons at once, presses them, and hopes for the best. Seems to be working for him though...

1/2/12

Reading to the kids tonight about John the Baptist. We were trying to get some major points across like how John was telling the people to repent and how he baptized Jesus. After much discussion on our part J. says: "Ewww that's so gross he ate locusts!" and M. says "His clothes look like poop.". We clearly have more teaching to do! : )

12/24/11

M. has decided to add the word "period" to the end of his sentences. Like he'll say "J. I am not listening to you! Period!" or "That's what I am saying Mommy! Period!" It's at the end of every statement he makes.

12/18/11

With all people, but especially with 3 year olds it's important to remember to pick your battles! (with M. who is riding in the stroller for the 3 foot walk to the car)

12/6/11

Me: M. let's get dressed. M.: Noooo! Mommy, boys don't get dressed. Girls get dressed. Boys get clothesed! 

5 minutes later...

Me: M. please stop spinning so we can put your shirt on. M: I can't! I can't! I'm a dizzy octopus!

...And the day has just begun!

12/5/11

I guess it should be no surprise to anyone that M. will eat arugula like it's candy.

11/13/11

M. just spent the last hour begging me to let him sleep tonight in the bath tub.

11/4/11

It's not even 9:30 and so far M. has (with a back pack over his pajamas and shoes on mismatched feet) announced that he is "going to Mars!", clinked his toy vacuum with my real one and shouted, "Cheers!", and hidden 3 open containers of play doh.

11/2/11

A lot of material for today! This afternoon as we were getting ready to get J. from school I hear M. in the refrigerator (as usual). Me: M. are you in the refrigerator? No response from him, just the door slamming shut. He walks into the living room with his cheeks stuffed full of something. Me: M. what are you eating? Not even opening his mouth, M.: Nuffin! Me: M. open your mouth. M. opens his mouth and I expect to see some candy or a cookie or something. Instead his mouth is full of broccoli!

Me: M. tomorrow you are going with your class on a trip to the farm. What do you think you will see there? M: I don't know (his answer for every question) Me: Well you will see pigs...chickens...sheep...horses... rabbits...baby chicks...cows... M: and elephants!

11/1/11

M: Mommy where did you put all the candy? Me: I hid it. M: (in a whiny voice) Why? Me: Because last night after you were supposed to be in bed, I caught you trying to take some. M: I wasn't going to eat it! I was moving it to the back of the counter! Me: Sure you were. M: Mommy please tell me where you put the candy. Me: Sigh...

10/26/11

To all my Trini Facebook friends- M. looking very discouraged at his dinner plate of meatballs and tortellini "But Mommy, I wanted channa! Where's the channa?" (Channa, eaten in Trinidad where my husband is from, more commonly know here as Chick Peas)

10/22/11

M. likes to take things and hide them. It could be the silliest little thing, but he hoards little items and puts them in every kind of bag, nook, and cranny imaginable. Unfortunately for me that included my wedding ring for over 2 months until he "found" it and currently my house keys. When you ask him where it is he says "I can't find it" and no amount of threat or promise will bring forth what you are looking for until he is ready to give it to you!

10/17/11

Today's revelation: Kids will eat anything as long as it is served between a hot dog bun. For example, turkey meatloaf is not tolerated...but slap it between a hot dog bun and it is acceptable for consumption. I might have to try this with brussel sprouts!

10/12/11

I wasn't planning on deep cleaning our refrigerator today but since M. decided to empty a half a gallon of milk inside of it, I had no other choice!

10/9/11

Today M. put the toilet plunger over the sink faucet while he was in the bathroom doing his business. I didn't realize he also turned the faucet on full blast until I pulled the plunger off of it... You get the picture!

10/4/11

Apparently brothers can steal even imaginary cupcakes.

10/1/11

I came out of the bedroom after putting T. down for her nap and caught M. digging in the refrigerator. Instead of doing what most people might do trying to not get caught by slamming the door shut, he saw me and quickly jumped into the fridge attempting to shut the door behind him! That didn't really work so well.

9/30/11

M. upon tossing his friend's Pablo penguin stuffed animal into the New York Harbor: 
Me: M. where's Pablo? M.: He's swimming. A minute later, M.: Oh no a shark is eating Ploblo!

9/28/11

Me: M. where is your underwear? M.: I take it off cause it's too wet. Me: Why is it too wet? M: Cause I peepsed on the couch. Me: sigh...

9/21/11

M. for Sale!  And to give everyone an idea of what you'd be getting in the transaction posted below: Today alone M. has stripped down to only his socks, shredded up a toilet paper role to feed his plastic sharks in the bath tub, applied glue stick to his lips, and pulled up the entire carpet in his bedroom to "clean" the floor.

9/18/11

Okay I'm not a grammar queen, but I think M. has created a gerund for going to church. Here it is in context: "When Daddy is finished churching he will come home and eat a banana." I think it works!

6/29/11

J. about a girl who was in his class this year: "Mariah has 2 dads and one of them is in jail." Me: "Why is he in jail?" J: "Well... probably because he parked his car in the wrong spot."