Recently I was speaking to a newer friend and sharing with
her some of my past struggles to come to terms with my role as a mother. I told her I used to use motherhood as
an excuse for why I couldn’t do more for God. She smiled at me, laughed, and said, “Wow you are so
real. I have never heard anybody
be so honest about themselves off the bat before.”
Another similar story: I was at the school yard the other
day in the afternoon and another newer friend who I up until that point I had
only conversed with when we were both with a mutual friend, showed up with her
two little boys. She looked
exhausted and was suffering from a cold.
After a few moments of sharing how her boys wouldn’t nap that day, how
exhausted and newly pregnant she was, and how she had spent a good deal of the
morning yelling at her kids; she broke down in tears. Wanting to comfort her, but not knowing her all that well, I
blurted out that I also often yell at my kids. No I am not proud of that fact. Yes I would probably prefer that nobody know that about
me. But at that moment she was
really struggling and maybe, just maybe hearing that she wasn’t the worst mom
in the universe was what she needed to hear. After spilling my own guts, she looked up at me and said, “No one ever admits to that. I feel like
I’m the only one”.
Why is that?
Why so often to we hide our faults, shortcomings, and weaknesses? We should be sharing our struggles not
hiding them. It’s important
for so many reasons. No matter
what is challenging us, our tempers, problems with our kids, our struggle to
conceive children, our own guilt that we hide in the closet; what we really
need to do is bring it out into the open.
Perfection is a nasty façade and it’s one that is eating women up. By being truly real with those around
us, we allow them to be real to.
When that happens we can support, love, and lift each other up.
Sometimes when I see another mom who is hurting and
struggling, my first instinct is to shout out, “Over here! Look at me! The worst mom of the year award should be mine! I yell at my kids way more than I
should. I let them watch too much
T.V. They eat sugar, and sometimes
drink chocolate milk! I
should probably read them more books and do more crafts with them. They don’t do soccer, art class, or
play a musical instrument!” I
would say all of that to them and more if it would make them feel better. Because you know what? We’re all imperfect. The only reason I don’t hate myself for
being the worst mom of the year is because I have a God who loves me despite
all my flaws. Oh He loves me so
much! Best of all He loves me just
the way I am, but loves me too much to leave me that way. So He’s working on me and each day I’ll
be a little bit of a better mom. I
don’t have to bear the burden of guilt because He bears it for me.
I really wish we would all just be honest about how things
are really going. It would be the
first step towards things going much better.
